Justgirlythings
by M Knightium
Summary: (AU Non-Despair) When the Hope's Peak Gentlemen's club, comprised of much of the males of the 78th and 77th class, wants to get chicks, they do it in style. Lucky Justgirlythings exists so that style's a nightmare for everyone.
1. Chapter 1

Hope's Peak Academy; they say whoever graduated from that school would have ever college in the state knocking at their door. The students there were to be the best of the best, and the absolute pinnacle of zealots.

…not every time.

After school, in one of the classrooms, an afterschool club met. As far as the school knew it was only called the Hope's Peak Gentlemen's Club; a place for manly men to talk, compare stories, and be men.

It was also a place…for something crucial.

"So let's just say you're an average dude, livin' the life of an average dude. But for some dudes, gettin' girls to notice 'em, can be quite a challenge." Leon Kuwata said to the room filled with teenage guys; the Gentlemen's club. Here, many of the iconic males sat, like Mondo Owada and Makoto Naegi, to even the likes of Kazuichi Souda and Teruteru Hanamura.

Really, much of the males from the 77th and 78th class was present. Leon continued, as he tapped a chalkboard with an internet URL.

"Luckily, there's a thing called Justgirlythings on the internet; detailing what a girl wants and what she wants guys to do. Now it's scientifically proven that if we follow their instructions, chicks'll be obliged to give us all a chance, and that's the purpose of this badass club of badass manly men, except you Makoto. I promise by Winter Break each of us'll have chicks swarming over them and you'll have to beat them back with a bat." Leon leaned against the chalkboard; a cocky grin on his face. "Now, any questions?" Teruteru's hand went up.

"…yeah?"

"Does this mean we'll learn how to get their panties? Or something better?~"

"Yeah, I just said you'll have chicks fighting over ya. Any _other_ questions?" Mondo's hand lifted.

"Why the fuck're we meetin' after school when the broads are all back in their dorms or doin' other shit?"

"It's cause we'll be able to pick up where they're at man. Like that swimmer chick…Aoi right? Who here _hasn't_ seen that rack of hers?" No one's hand went up. "Exactly! We gotta learn 'em before we get 'em, know what I'm sayin'?"

"...um…question." Makoto's hand slowly raised. "Why don't we just…y'know…try being nice to girls and actually talk to them?"

"And miss out on the epicness? You're not a real man…um…man!" Souda shouted from his seat in the back, while Nagito just leaned back in his seat, a content grin on his face.

"I just want everyone's hope to shine to the fullest…especially… _her_." Mondo just…stared at Nagito.

"…if you mean that Junko broad I'd avoid her if I was you. She ain't right in the head if ya ask me."

"Nor is her sister, but you keep going after her apparently." Byakuya spoke up, reading a book in his seat. "I'd say you haven't much room to talk."

"Says the guy with a crazy ass stalker."

"Classmates, bickering is not welcome in a school environment!" Ishimaru spoke up, standing and giving them both a firm, serious look. "We're here to learn something new, and use these skills to better our time here in school and-"

"Just say you want to get with that girl in the 77th class and be done with it, alright, hall monitor? Never expected you to like a short girl with a vicious attitude."

"Ah don' listen to that fucker bro; if ya like this broad then here's the best place to learn how'll you'll get 'er, right Leon?"

"Right! So first thing's first, we're all gonna get moving. Also someone find Ryota…he's first." In the back of the room the animator…or rather…animators both pipped up, shivering.

One of the was fat and currently chewing on a chicken wing, and the other was pale and sickly. Leon was first to facepalm.

"Okay someone figure out which is the imposter and let's move on. Seriously, how do we keep fallin' for this trick?" The entire room full of guys got up and packed their things up, preparing to move out and go get some experience.

"Wait…why the fuck am I here?" Fuyuhiko finally questioned, though Souda just pushed him along.

"Don't question it and let's go. We're gonna get so many girls after this man! Think about it; a swimming pool filled with girls…can you picture it?"

"I imagine it'd be very painful to dive in, for you and the girls." Hajime spoke up, shrugging with a smirk; the Reserve Course student being let in namely because Nagito recommended him for the Gentlemen's Club. Souda just glared at Hajime a bit but they were silenced when Yamada rushed past them; glasses giving a sharp glimmer.

"We must make haste fellows! The women, they wait for no one!"

"…anyone wanna tell him they're literally not going anywhere." Fuyuhiko muttered, shaking his head.

The Gentlemen's Club had their work cut out for them…

* * *

(So, this is happening. It came to be after watching the Engine Wolf thing with this and eventually I wondered why has no one else done something like this; it's pure comedic gold. So, when I get a chance, I'll be working on something like this; using the internet's justgirlythings as a rubric and chapter title for each of these with the guys from both classes trying to get the girls…only a handful _actually_ win so there's that. So stay tuned for greatness, so to speak.

Some of the class of 78 were based from the Abridged, it made more sense to me comedic wise.)


	2. When He Notices You

The pool was active, hustling and bustling. Some of those using it were swimming, some conversing, and others just relaxing in the water.

However, right outside the door, a few of the teens were. Leon, Hajime, Ryota, Souda and lastly Yamada were all present and waiting for the baseball player's instruction.

"So, what's the memo?" Hajime finally asked, peering through the small window on the metal door to see a few girls swimming through the water. "Because I'm thinking we're a bit overdressed for something like this."

"Psh, anyhow what chicks love more than anythin' is being noticed by a guy." Leon adjusted his coat, a grin on his face. "And as such, I'll be goin' in to show you guys how it's done. You'll see; in less than twenty seconds I'll have her walkin' out with me." He pushed the door open and started walking, strolling in without a care in the world while the others watched him through the open door.

Yamada was first to speak up, noticing something out the corner of his eye.

"Should we warn'th him about—"

"Shh, I wanna see this." Leon's target was simple; the Ultimate Swimmer. He was diving right into the fire yes but that was how anyone got anywhere; taking a chance and seeing what happened. The tanned swimmer herself was busy drying herself off, clad in the Hope's Peak blue swimsuit.

…Leon did his best to not let his eyes wander.

The swimmer's attention perked up moments later.

"Huh? Oh! Hey Leon." She wore a friendly grin, righting herself and staring at the baseball star. "You need something?"

"Naw, was jus' wonderin' if you wanted to catch a movie; get some good eats and have a fun time." Laying on the heavy stuff wasn't smart, but Leon Knew Asahina could be…

…daft. That was the nicest word for her.

"Hmm? I can't right now; I have plans with one of our upperclassmen. She said she wants to learn how to swim and she said after her training she'd meet me here…where is she anyhow?" Before Leon could even answer he felt someone grab him by his shoulders and…

…throw him directly at the water, the baseball star coughing and sputtering in the water as he managed to surface, giving a hellishly angry glare to his thrower.

"What the fuck did you do that for, ya bitch!"

…he later regretted it. Akane Owari stared at him, knuckles popping, as a deep snarl of a look framed her face.

"Repeat that please…"

* * *

"So, this has been a learning experience…" Souda spoke, Yamada and Hajime being the ones to drag an unconscious, wet, and bleeding Leon down the hall, hoping Mikan was around to treat his injuries. "Don't try to get with Asahina anymore…we forgot to warn Leon she's hanging out with Akane."

"Agreed, that maiden seems more akin to a maddened beast as opposed to a beautiful lady." Yamada grunted, lifting Leon over a stair as they dragged him up to the second floor. "How _do_ you put up with her?"

"W-We don't, we just tend to hide whenever she's happy and active." Ryota spoke up, the fat teen busy munching on a chicken wing. Souda just…looked at him for a good while, rubbing his chin and neglecting to notice he was to be helping with Leon; the baseball star sliding down the stairs while Hajime and Yamada rushed to help him back up.

"…which one are you again? Ryota 1 or Ryota 2?"

* * *

(Apologies for the delay on this as well. I was not only trying to muster the courage needed to tackle this again as well as make sure I got the personalities correct for each character. The problem is I wasn't able to get a good grasp on the characters from the first game too well, and because of that I never really wrote them into any fictions. However now I'm improvising and using the Abridged for some of their lines and actions as they'll be easier to commit to memory and utilize regarding the 78th class; the 77th class I think I have them somewhat down enough but a few will be a tad OOC due to issue. I'm mentioning these because while with free time I do notice some stories regarding DR characters reaction to fanfictions; a personal issue I have is hoping some of mine don't end up there. Granted it'd be publicity, just the wrong way. So that's why Justgirlythings was pushed back for so long; wanted to make sure I got enough right to where the wrong was overlooked. To those who enjoy these stories, thanks; you're helping me gain the inspiration to keep making these stories.)


End file.
